It's been one of those beautiful autumn days where heavy gray clouds have taken hold of the sky, slowing time. Golden leaves and a crisp breeze have floated in and out of the little cafe I've been sitting in as voices laugh and hum around me. This day has been much needed in my life. A time to just sit, listening to music, talking to my Abba, journaling and drawing, having the pen glide from words to pictures and back, finally stopping to type out the well known dance of my fingers across black keys. Life is beautiful. The little valley that I live in has been transformed into a canvass, the paint brush taken firmly in the hands of a wonderful God as He once again painted a masterpiece upon the mountain sides that surround me. Crimson and deep orange , gold and the haunting green of pine trees, all set against deep gray skies, have combined to birth one of the loveliest autumns I've ever seen.
And so I sit here, blown away by how quickly the warmth of summer has slipped away, the days growing shorter and shorter, light becoming less and less, giving way to beautifully cool evenings that shimmer with crisp starlight, sending whispers of the deep winter soon to come.
Ah winter…I can feel her in the air around me, haunting voices that arise in the dark of the night, slipping in and out of dreams born from falling snow. Frigid beauty will blanket the mountains, burying deep and silent much, allowing for silence and stillness to be gifted and taken with no guilt. Firelight will come to life, blankets will be deep and warm, drinks will be extra hot and steam more than usual, as winter settles in. Snow will dance from heavy, colorless skies, and sunlight will set against mountains whose snow will burn with its light. We will dash from one warm place to the other, Christmas lights brightening our evenings as holidays begin. Winter…for as uncomfortable as it can be, and as much as I complain about the coming cold, the truth is, I'm actually having this beautiful love affair with all it is. For in the silence, in the stillness that comes, it has always been in this season that I have stolen away with my God, gazing into eyes that have captivated my heart, hearing so clear the gentle call, and answering back that where He leads, be it over mountains and seas, forests and fields, to lands near or far, with whomever He wills, no matter what, I will answer His call and go. This has been the theme of my winters that are now gone, and so as I feel her coming once again on the air, I cannot help but look forward to what she will bring this season.
And there is much to hope for. I have loved the past couple years, despite deep hurt and pain, they have been a gift I would never exchange, and yet, I feel the tide begin to shift. Change quietly stealing in…though I have absolutely no idea what that change looks like. Oh, I can dream of what I'd like it to mean, of what I'd like to happen, but at the end of the day I would rather have nothing that I want and have Him give all I need. For I am learning ever so slowly that what He gives, no matter how it looks in the moment, always surpasses all that I could ever dream up for myself. Always.
