ECHOES of NOW: August 2013

Morning is slowly lighting the face of the mountains surrounding me. Black silhouettes become green trees, dark gray clouds change from the deepest to the softest of pinks, growing brighter with each passing moment. People drift in and out of this little cafe nestled in the middle of the valley I call home, voices lilt back and forth still heavy with sleep, being doused with gulps of coffee. Four o'clock came early this morning and my bed was really warm and the last thing I wanted to do was drag myself out of it...but, life is too short to sleep until the last possible second every morning. There are mornings when, rising before the birds begin to sing, becoming intimate with the stillness of the morning in all its deepness before the sun has turned her face towards you, this is worth losing the extra sleep for. Sitting outside this little cafe before it opened, having an early morning conversation with my Mom, still in somewhat of a fog from the lack of coffee, I watched the sky grow lighter, remembering just how much I miss this when it's been too long since the earliest of early mornings and I have spent time together. So, tucked away in my little corner table, the coffee is steaming hot and french pressed, the eggs and toast are delicious, the smell of bacon lilts through the air, and I realize again how deeply in love with mornings I am.

So do men apparently....because, I'm pretty sure I've been the only girl in this place since it opened. Either that, or these guys just love their pastries really fresh. It's probably that;) What's the deal, ladies?? I know y'all love mornings too...or at least some of you do. Honestly, I'm an aspiring morning person. I love going to breakfast with friends, but during said breakfasts I'm a fantastic listener, because until you get about two cups of coffee in me, my mouth doesn't work that well. However, I'll sit for hours listening to you talk. Funny thing about writers, we love listening and then processing everything and spitting it back out in whatever form we choose to write in. You should make friends with a writer just to have someone listen to you. Seriously.

So this verse for this morning:

"God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns."

-Psalm 46:5

Absolutely love this! Best part? I didn't see it until I was sitting here this morning:) Jesus is awesome. It seems that in the quiet of these early mornings, He speaks into the stillness of my heart, before it has become busy with the day, with whatever else is going on in my life and in the lives of those around me. Echoing through the caverns of my heart, His voice is clear and sweet and beautiful. And here in this place the chaos is silenced, the voices that would scream in and press forward are sent fleeing back into the darkness as light and life and joy are spoken here in the silence, and it is here that I know Him and He knows me, and this is truly all that matters. With every day that passes, with desires that I have that long and ache to be fulfilled, I'm learning just how unimportant they are next to Him, to knowing all He is, discovering a God that is living and breathing, laughing and loving and yet, serious for that which must be taken seriously. He is enough. And in this place, this is the thought that takes over all others. He is enough now and He will be enough in the future, for no matter what desires we have, he trumps them all. It is in Him that all joy is found, so if He chooses to take away or not fulfill what I would like, I will still bless His name because, He is enough.

"I love the Lord, because He hears my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live." -Psalm 116:1, 2

It's an interesting fact that each of us searches, pursues, longs, and aches, to be known. I've been thinking about this a lot in the last few weeks, that I have this deeply rooted desire to truly be known, not known in the way that I often am...known in the deepest way. To have someone want to jump in forever and get to know me. For me. By myself. For no other reason than to just know me unlike anyone else, beyond what I've chosen to show, and simply want to be that person who will stand next to me, pressing me into my Savior and witnessing my life.

I'm pretty sure that as women, we are all longing for this, whether we're single and waiting on that person, or if we're in a relationship where we don't really feel known. By the way ladies, let me just say from experience, it's way worse to be in a relationship where you're not truly known than to be single. Seriously. Way. Worse. And I hear it often from so many in my life, that same phrase repeated over and over and over, "Maybe my standards are just too high...because, I don't think there's really anyone out there who will live up to what I want." Worst mistake ever to lower your standards and jump into a relationship that is not what it should be...especially when you know it. I've thought this too...I've thought it over and over...maybe I want too much, maybe I'll never know what it really is to know a man who is totally given to Jesus, maybe I should just get over it and jump into the next best thing that comes along. Yeah. I'm sure now that this is partly true, there is no man out there who will live up to the standards I'm looking for. Because, if Jesus is the standard, then we're all falling short, yes, especially you and I (because as women, where do we come off thinking that we've got it all together?! Pretty sure we're not living up to the standards of that Godly man who's been setting up standards to compare us to either) but, the point is that we are trying our hardest with every moment that passes to be more like Jesus.

Man, with every day that passes, I'm seeing more and more that I'm totally not going to get it together to the standards that I'm holding up. Whew! Not happening. But, you know what? I'm going to try as hard as I can to press into my God with everything I have. And I'm confident that He who is in me, He lives up to everything I'm looking for and everything others are looking for in me. This is an amazingly wonderful thought! I'm actually not doing any of it, I'm just falling down before Him and crying out that I simply do not have it in me, I don't have the strength or goodness or the slightest propensity to be what He wants me to be, but thankfully He does.

"Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus." -Philippians 3:12

And in this lies the secret. We are known by a man who died for us, Who formed our inward parts, and who desires to know our hearts unlike any other man you will EVER meet. You. Are. Known. Pretty amazing and wonderful fact! Is it easy to remember? Nope. Definitely not. Because we're still human and we're still women and often our emotions grab hold of us and take off like a wild horse you just happened to accidentally take out for a leisurely afternoon ride. Yeah, that turns out to be the farthest thing from leisurely ever! Yay us! It's like we're sitting there, absolutely knowing that Jesus is the only one that truly fulfills us, that we won't be fulfilled in a relationship if we're not fulfilled while we're single, and even though we know this, that moment will hit us just right and the next thing we know, we're lying in a heap on the floor (or bed...FYI: the bed's way more comfortable for an emotional hiccup...just sayin) freaking out because we're never gonna find "the one" and we're gonna die old and alone and what in the world is wrong with us, because we're SUPPOSE to be strong Christian women and how did this happen?!?!?

Ah, hello human nature. This is really hard, I don't care who you are or how long you've been walking with the Lord, it's still super hard!!! And if someone is telling you it isn't, that they are always fine, and they're emotions never run away with them, then, well....I'm sorry, but that's simply not true. Now, do we stay this way? Do we swim around in the muck and mire of this emotional bog we find ourselves in? Um, that's a very big, NO. Why? Because honestly, the bottom line is that we do not rely on our emotions to dictate our actions and lives. We rely and trust in the fact that we are children of the Living God who died for us because He loves us too much to leave us the way we are. That's the bottom of bottom lines. Life is hard, our emotions stink, but He is bigger than all of this! And in Him alone is fullness of joy found. Yeah, I don't know about you, but wow, I need to hear this and repeat this to myself every. single. day.

He is amazing and wonderful and faithful and His goodness seriously blows me away every day that I draw breath. Maybe it's all kinda starting to sound cliche to you, but let me tell you, get into His word, drink it in like a person dying of thirst, and without a doubt, you're going to be blown away by this God who loves you more than you can comprehend.

He absolutely does not care what image of femininity you bring to the table. Maybe you don't fit into the box of femininity that has always been placed before you. The amazing thing about Jesus is that His light shines through us despite the way we dress, despite the tattoos, or piercings, or perfectly feminine dress, or purple hair, or lace, or any of the other things we do or do not carry and wear upon us. You paint a beautiful picture of femininity that I do not, and I paint a beautiful picture that you don't...yay for being individual and having personal relationships with Jesus! (Note: Please do not write me telling me how this can be taken to the extreme, because obviously anything can be taken to the extreme. And I am not sitting here encouraging you to go get covered from head to toe in tattoos and piercings, however, I do not think any of this has any weight upon Christ working in the heart of a woman. Frankly, I could care less what a woman looks like on the outside, the only thing we as Christians should be looking for is the light of Christ shining through those that we often judge. And this is not a post addressing modesty or the way we should dress, so please take this for what it is and don't make more of it. I am not in the habit of writing with double meanings behind my words, so do yourself the favor and let it be:) )

I love that He takes us just the way we are, bringing us face to face with Him and utterly changing our lives to reflect all that He is. I love that He does indeed fulfill us, making our lives overflow with His joy like a river rushing forth. I love that He holds us close, comforting us and binding up our broken hearts when we crumble at His feet. I love that we as women can be women with this Savior who saved us from all we deserved. I love that you, whomever you are reading this at this moment, no matter your age, your current place in life, whether you're single, married, or widowed, He knows you. He knows every curve and bend and beat of the heart He created within your chest. He knows every desire and longing and the ache that keeps you awake in the deep of the night. And in the silence of the heart that He fashioned within you, it is there that He speaks light and life and love into all you are. For beyond all you are, He is. Beyond all you will ever be, He is. He is and He knows you.

So, whether you are single, married, or widowed, He is the culmination of all that will fulfill you for all of your days. He is walking out this life with you and witnessing all of your moments, gently asking that you will allow Him in, that you will know Him as well, and He is pursuing you with every sunset that alights the sky into flames of orange and gold, with every wave that crashes upon every shore, with every rainbow shining forth His promises, with every tree gently swaying in the breeze upon the mountain's face, and every cloud bringing forth the rain, with every moment that touches you deep within the well of your heart, He is pursuing all that you are. Do not allow this to become a cliche in your life. For this is truth that is solid and unchanging. You are a child of the Living God. Live your life in such a way that beyond all you feel, He is greater still.