His.

It's the quiet Voice on the wind, softly speaking, gently asking, never pushing...beckoning. The stillness all around is deep and boundless and heavy. Yet, it is here, in this place, that His voice echoes through. And the caverns of my heart with all its twisting corridors and corners, echo back with the answer that my soul would cry. Would I give up what I want most to have more of Him? My flesh cries out with every fiber which makes it up, "NO! No, no, no, no....I want what I want!!!" 

His voice presses, deep calling unto deep, calling out that which my flesh does not want, crying out to the spirit He has placed inside the heart of His child.

Here the echo grows loudest, echoing back to the Spirit of the Living God, "YES! Father, I would have more of You. At any  cost, I would give back to you all I desire most."

The words are hard. Truth is hard. To choose that which fights against our flesh is....war. And the battle rages...and I am tired. This bone weary, when will I have answers, haven't I asked long enough tiredness, it aches and yearns and wears until all would be worn down to being thread bare. And yet, when His voice calls, when it calls forth strength and courage and the knowledge that, no matter how the story ends in this life, I know the true ending beyond all I can see...when this happens, a strength courses through the heart that beats with the Voice of the One who gives life and hope and joy unimaginable. It is here, in this place, when the battle rages most fierce, when all I want fades dim, it is here that I see so clearly the eyes of the One who gave everything, and it is here that the love He bears is felt far deeper than when I am in the shallows and not being asked to give back desires placed on my heart.

But, ouch. Because loosening the iron grasp of what we hold close hurts. Standing with hands open and heart surrendered, the pain courses along with the joy, because giving back hurts, but the joy in knowing that though I cannot see the outcome I do know He works all things for the good of those who love Him, this joy far outweighs the pain felt.

And His grace is sufficient. It goes beyond all I am, all we are, surpassing all I can see or feel or know, filling up the cracks and grooves of lives surrendered to Him, until they overflow with the goodness that only He gives. For He is faithful. Always. Forever. End of story.

The river flows fast, the sky dark and beautiful. And peace, like the river that sings outside my door fills the air and all I am. For, though I do not know what the future holds, I know I am His child and this is and always will be more than enough.

In the dark and quiet of this night, that same voice echoes...calling unto your heart. For you are His child and He is pursuing all you are with every fiber of His being. In the stillness, deep calls unto deep, and your Father's love would envelop and surround you. Pursue His heart. For you are loved by the One who created the very air you breathe, and He is for you, beyond all you can see or feel or know.