thoughts on a winter's day.

Sitting here, once again the snow swirls up and down beyond the glass windows. My mug is full of steaming coffee, surrounded by shelves full of colorful books begging to be read, and looking up, a beautiful little curly-headed girl stares back at me with the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen. I smile back, crinkling my nose and waving at her and she crinkles her nose and smiles from behind the soda can she's drinking from. Little girls with extra curly brown hair and bright blue eyes definitely do funny things to my heart...but, then again, if any child smiles and waves at me, my heart does funny things;)

This song is playing on repeat through my earphones and I'm watching all the people come and go, enjoying a very wintery Saturday in our little valley. People laugh and talk, enjoying huge vats of steaming coffee and coke from glass bottles. Maybe it has something to do with how much I love connecting with people, but watching those around me connect, enjoying each other, it warms my heart and I realize once again how important it is to spend time with those in our lives. We are the most connected and yet, disconnected society. Connected through social media like never before, connected through a text that pops up on our phone, connected through a message that blurps up on our computer screen, and none of this can compete with actually having that person sitting in front of us. There are so many people in my life whom I have friendships with through text alone and I would give up all those texts to actually have them sitting in front of me every so often. For the emotions with which we write out texts and messages and anything else that a screen conveys, are all lost in transit. I'm convinced even writing an old fashioned letter conveys more emotion and feeling than all these other modern ways to connect do. At least when we receive a letter, we know the sender had to sit down, take legitimate time out of their day and think about what they are writing. Shooting off a quick email or text doesn't take much thought.

I'm not bashing social media or texting, nor am I saying we shouldn't take advantage of it. I'm simply thinking about how important it is to not rely on these alone, but to connect. In real life. Goodness knows, I use all these things just as much as anyone else...maybe more since I also blog pretty often, but I'll tell you what, I'd still rather have you in front of me, telling me about what's on your heart over a cup of coffee, than to only ever text you. Just a thought:)

I currently have another little sprite of a girl, with short, bobbed hair sitting across from me. She caught my attention when I glanced up and she was peering back at me through an oversized magnifying glass. I couldn't help but laugh, looking back at her chocolate brown eyes that were large and bug like through the glass she held. She threw her head back, giggling and delighted that she'd finally caught my attention...I'm not quite sure how long she was sitting so still looking at me, but it was long enough for her to be tickled when I at last looked up at her. I love how kids are so happy to simply get a smile out of an adult. It's almost as if they go through their days simply waiting to make someone smile or laugh. Man, that's exactly how I want to live! I want to go throughout each and every day, simply looking for ways to make someone smile! Jesus knew exactly what He was talking about when He told us to be like little kiddos. Their simple joy and faith in whomever they love is absolutely breathtaking.

That's the kind of joy we're suppose to have in Him, right? What if we lived our days looking for ways to make Him smile, to make Him belly laugh? Because I am convinced that our God laughs bigger and has more joy than we can imagine! And I know He delights in us, looking for ways to make us smile, whether it's from a beautiful sunset or gently falling snow, the crash of the waves on a steal grey coast or through mountains that rise in all their majesty to the heavens...so, what if we in return, looked for ways to make Him smile back? I think it would transform our lives...no, I don't think, I know it would. It makes me think of this quote:

"Forgive me for being so ordinary while claiming to know so extraordinary a God."

-Jim Elliot

This is one of my favorite quotes. Ever. All of this, all the joy we're suppose to have, the way we live, what others see when they look at our lives, it's suppose to reflect Him and how extraordinary He is. The joy we have, it's suppose to be so great that others look at us and think, "What in the world is going on with her/him? That is not normal!" And we shouldn't be. We should never be normal. If you've met Jesus, if you have a relationship with Him, then, you definitely shouldn't be normal;) You should be so abnormal that the only explanation for you, for your faith, for your love, for your forgiveness, for your very life is simple, Jesus. Can you imagine how things would change around us if we were willing to live lives that were absolutely dependent on Him? To live in such a way that no matter what He asked, we didn't think twice, didn't try to explain the request away with logic (for rarely does He use our logic when He asks things of us...but, His logic is far greater than ours) but, simply moved in whatever direction He was leading for the glory of His name. I can't imagine a movement of His people that lived that way...but, I am desperate to live my own life this way, and longing to see His people rise up and live lives that give others no room for doubt in Him as well! So, though it is hard to imagine, I am absolutely confident that it can happen and praying that it will. That this generation of mine and all the generations that live around me, will catch fire and rise up for the One who gave it all for them.

I've been sitting here so long that I've now moved from coffee to Earl Grey tea. The snow outside has taken a reprieve from dancing down and this little bookstore/cafe has emptied somewhat. I think with each passing winter, I fall more and more in love with this place I live. Kinda funny, if you'd asked me less than a year ago if I could move back to South Carolina, would I, I wouldn't have even thought about it but simply said yes!! Absolutely! And it's true that, more than any other place, the Lowcountry of South Carolina holds my heart like none other...yet, these mountains, this valley, they've captured my heart and now, unlike before, I would be torn if the choice was put before me on where to live. So, like all changes that whisper of their coming, I'm trusting that He knows all He has planned for this life of mine, and will make clear the way while scripting the story.

It's beautiful, isn't it? How our God writes out our days, each swirl of the pen in His hand writing that which is far more beautiful than anything we can script. I have tried writing this life for myself. There was a short period not very long ago, when I was hurting and angry and determined to do things my own way and write the story for myself. Man, can I just say how grateful I am for His grace?! For it carried me through, though I didn't even know it, gently holding me through the pain, showing me how patient, how wonderful, how forgiving and full of love my God is. I would not recommend trying to script things for yourself, for the pain that eventually comes is intense. Yet, it's simply beautiful to me that, not matter what we've done, no matter the mistakes we've made, if we're willing to give our lives back to Him, He redeems all the time we, in our foolishness, have wasted. And even more beautiful, is how He uses the pain to bring us even closer to Him, to help us understand at an even greater depth the love of His heart.

Well, now I'm off to refill my mug for the third time;) Hoping that wherever you are today, you feel His love like never before and that you know, despite the pain in your life, despite all that is hard, He is greater still. For His love for you knows no bounds. You are His child, and He cherishes every moment He has with you. May you cherish Him like never before on this beautiful, winter day.

"I am not a theologian or scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God." 

-Elisabeth Elliot

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