These moments are soaked in Like Rain's new EP "The Unexpected Fall". Check them out. I'm all about seriously talented musicians that are still unknown and trying to make it. They are totally worth the $4.95 the EP costs and personally, I think you should take advantage of their amazing music. The song, "All In The Way" is on repeat as I write this. Love them.
Feel like I've been all over the place lately. As much as I love going, visiting, being with people, traveling, there is still a beautiful sweetness and calm that comes with being home. All the homey things that come with only being in this place are like a balm after traveling. Sitting here, slowly sipping a cappuccino, my fingers gently typing out the dance I love, stopping here and there to write a thought in my journal, pausing to listen to the words that drift through my earbuds, glancing up as people come and go from this little coffee shop, it all feels beautiful and right and wonderful in this moment. The sky is a deep, bright blue, white cotton candy clouds drifting lazily by, the trees seem to breathe the longing to have their buds burst through. They hold that promise. It's coming. And with it follows a Colorado summer, which I whole heartedly believe is absolutely the most beautiful summer that any state can boast....up in the mountains at least. It almost makes up for the nine months of winter we seem to have;) Though, I love the winters too...just far more excited about summer!
This past winter has been absolutely wonderful in so many ways. Yet, it has held a struggle, a pain I thought would have gone long before now. The answer to the struggle has not been easy, yet with the coming of spring I have felt the faithfulness of Jesus in deeper ways than I thought possible. And today, as I sit in this little coffee shop, this verse floats all around me, enveloping my heart and soul, like a balm:
"I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed."-Psalm 34: 4, 5
Isn't it amazing how, you can be sitting or going about a most normal day, and like a gentle whisper an answer floats into your soul? All I can do is gently smile, and though the answer may not have been exactly what I wanted, there is the sweet, wonderful assurance, that the surrender has been the lesson (though a very hard lesson) and that through the pain, I have learned far more than I would have without it. I proclaim so often with my mouth that I would have Jesus take me deeper, press me further, put me into the fire that I may come out stronger...yet, when all of this comes, my protests grow louder, my cries more frequent, and the longing for it all to stop overwhelming. Still, He is faithful. Faithful to ignore my protests, knowing me far more than I know myself, and when it is finished, I am always grateful. And I can always look back with joy unimaginable, seeing the work done, though I know I still have far to go.
The answer floated in this morning, though I knew it far longer than I would like to admit. Sometimes, it takes actually acknowledging that it is there in order to truly see it. As if you can just make out the image of what He has said, yet turn away and still cry out to Him for an answer. Smiling, I know that over and over and over again, He gently takes me by the shoulders, turning and pointing at the answer given, but like a stubborn child I turn back stomping my foot, saying I see nothing, and asking again and again and again for a different answer. And so He patiently continues to teach and mold my heart, until finally, there it is, clear and true and beautiful. The answer. When it is finally seen, it often doesn't matter what it is, because the beauty of actually seeing it is sweeter than what it holds within itself. Or at least, this is what I often feel....and I feel it in this moment. A relief that I can see, a joy that I can have joy with all it holds, and a contentment in all He has done. Man, I love Him. So. Much.
My coffee cup is now empty. A young couple sits at a high top table in front of me, eating what seems to be a most enjoyed lunch, the door to this little cafe is propped open to let in the fresh, cool, spring air. White clouds continue to drift by, happy in their purpose to be exactly what He has created them to be. My Bible lays open, verses popping out here and there, speaking to my soul, ministering to my heart.
He is good.
This life He has given is beautiful. I know I say this often, but honestly, in moments like this one it washes over me afresh. Moments of pain, loss, hurt, they all are swallowed up in all He has given, all He has, in His love, covered my days with. My life is far from perfect, I would never have you think it is, for there are struggles and much behind the scenes of this blog going on. Yet, wow, I can't help but absolutely be in love with the life He has given. I have been blessed far beyond what I will ever deserve. And there is much to come I know. For I feel Him moving in the unseen in so many areas and all I can pray is that no matter what choices need to be made in the future, whatever decisions are placed in front of me, may He have the glory from it all through this age and that which is to come.
I hope your Saturday is filled with His joy in a deeper way than ever before. I pray that if you are struggling to surrender, to learn a lesson He would teach, that today, you would feel His presence and love wash over you, and that despite it all, you would be in love with the life He has given as well:)
For as this song says, Nothing Is Wasted in His hands.
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