Ok, let's get real for a few minutes here:
There are some seriously hard things that life throws our way. There are things that knock you out of the blue, making you fall to your knees and change your life. There are things that shoot into your heart like an arrow and though no one around you knows about it, the pain, hurt, whatever it may be, has to be dealt with. It's there. Right now. I know you have it, that arrow sticking out of your chest because, at any given moment, I'm working on getting yet another one worked out of my own heart.
That's life.
It's not all happy rainbows and butterflies, it's not all dancing and laughter, or ease and comfort. That's not reality. If you happen to find yourself in such a season, I'm not here to be the bearer of bad news, but here's your wake up call: it's just a season.
And let me tell you what, you better HOPE it's just a season! Because if you're just coasting through life, not causing any ripple effects at all, something is seriously wrong. If we're somehow able to dodge every hard thing, for years on end, if we feel no resistance spiritually…that's when you better start absolutely freaking out. Because, do you know what that means? You aren't causing the enemy any concern. You aren't even important enough for him to put forth an effort to stop however it is you're living. Yeah. Are you uncomfortable yet? Good. You should be.
Here's the thing though. Whenever I run up against resistance, do you know what my first knee jerk reaction is?
To stop.
Not only do I want to stop, I start coming up with some impressive reasons why I don't need to do whatever it is I'm doing anymore. This is quickly followed by the most intense form of lethargy you've ever seen. Honestly, I get absolutely 100% exhausted and want nothing more than to curl up under my down comforter and never come out….or sit in front of movies for hours on end. Either one;) But seriously, I can pretty much set a timer to the tactics of the enemy in this area of my life. Especially where prayer and writing are concerned.
A couple years back, I had the most direct and intense spiritual attack on my writing to date. Like legit. It was so bad that I walked away from writing for over a year. Not a word did I type. For a while this was exactly what needed to happen in order to let the wound heal. But then, the pain and hurt, the wound that was still bleeding though staunched, quickly became excuses. That birthed more excuses, that caused even greater excuses to multiply. It was astounding how fast these all sprung up and I believed them. All the lies, all the taunting, all the screaming that the enemy was doing, I didn't even fight. I was content to sit down and listen. I freaking listened to the enemy for OVER A YEAR! What?! But it's true. And not only did I listen, I believed him.
In the dark of the night, in the deep pit that I sat in, I listened, I believed, and somehow, as twisted as it was, I enjoyed it. Because the sinister voice that spoke into the darkness whispered things my flesh craved to hear. It spoke death and hurt, hatred and bitterness over my soul. And I sat there and bled.
Our God is faithful.
I sat in his office the afternoon everything changed, bleeding and broken, and wanting nothing more than for him to confirm what I'd been listening to for months. That somehow, the enemy was actually right. He looked at me, seeing through the veil for a moment, and spoke against all the lies that had been so cleverly constructed for months, "When God places a call on your life, He does not remove it, Jade. It is always there. You can choose to listen to the lies and you can choose to not answer, but He will always call."
BAM.
Did it change overnight? Nope. Did I answer right away…well, it took a bit. Slowly, slowly, slowly, the words began to come. Slowly they were crafted and to this day are being used as paint for the One who holds the paint brush in His hands. I am simply the vessel that holds the paint He is mixing in order to paint the words He would through my life.
Do I still struggle daily with voices that speak against what I write? You better believe it. Do I feel resistance? You have no idea. Have I suddenly realized that this is a legitimate call that absolutely requires that it is a priority in my life? Yeah. I've finally realized it. I don't always get it right. I suck a lot at getting it right. But, the point is that for the first time in my life, I'm legitimately seeing it for what it is and I'm trying.
So, this is the point: You have a call on your life. I have no idea what that looks like. Maybe it's painting, writing, singing, being a doctor, a lawyer, a nanny, a mother, a daughter, a business woman, a son, a father, someone who works an office job, or in a coffee shop. Whatever it is, listen to Him and find it. I can assure you once you hit on it, you'll know. I can assure you once you hit on it, you'll feel resistance like never before. Press on. Don't give up. Don't sit down in the dark and listen to the voices that will surely arise against what He has created you to do. Press forward, press onward, go further up and further in, always aiming for the mark that He has set before you.
Life is too short to waste it. He is too amazingly wonderful to not spend your life for Him.
Rise up and seek your God and all that He has created you to be!
~
"Strive not to choose that which is easiest, but that which is most difficult. Do not deprive your soul of the agility which it needs to mount up to Him." ~Saint John of the Cross
0 comments:
Post a Comment