grilled cheese, tomato soup, and....well.....

Sitting in a lovely little cafe with my beautiful little sister, surrounded by these rocky mountains, and thinking on how blessed I am. Cars slowly drive by the floor to ceiling picture windows, having taken on a lazy speed that only those who drive in these little mountain towns understand. She and I share a warm cup of creamy, tangy tomato soup and thickly cut grilled cheese sandwich, the yellow goo squeezing from the middle of the slices as we bite into our halves, laughing and talking back and forth. She works on her resume and between her many questions, I try and type a sentence here and there. Three older gentlemen walk through the doors, smiling at us and asking what we're working on. I slowly slip my....5th....6th?.....too many if I can't remember....cup of coffee, listening to the deep older voices behind me mingle with the slow jazz filling the air around us. It's like being hugged gently, held close by comfort and warmth and life. And in this moment, I savor the sweet simplicity that my God has allowed me, fully aware that life will not always be like this. Nor do I want it to be. But, in this moment, while I'm here, I breathe deeply of all that makes up all that is right now, and I am overwhelmed by the sweet thankfulness that floods my heart. 

I am blessed.

However, my life is not perfect. Even in this beautiful moment, there is much along the edges of the warmth that threaten to push in with overwhelming certainty that they are bigger than my faith. They would connive, trying to find a way to convince me, that He is not capable of handling all that they are. That they are far bigger than.....the Living God. I'm sorry......what?! And there are times that I actually believe this ridiculousness! Time after time after time, He has proven His faithfulness in my life. He has given far more than I could ever in this life deserve...yet still, I have over and over and over again, allowed the "much" to crowd in, opening my ears to what it would say. And like the darkness that comes thick and heavy with a storm, I am weighed down, blinded, as long as I listen to all that would scream into the dark of the storm that they are winning.

Wake up oh child and know! You are a child of the Living God!!!

I am His, bought with a price! There is no room in my life for the voices that scream in the storm, nor for the darkness they bring. He is my Father, my Beloved, and He is light itself. If I am His, then though the darkness may fight to enter in, I wield the sword He has put into my hands, and as long as I fight for the glory set before me, the darkness may not abide here. This life is not my own, it is His, and being His, may it burn with the brightness of the noon day sun for the glory of the One who is always before my eyes.

"I will lead the blind by a way they do now know, in paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone."  

-Isaiah 42:16

Isn't this a beautiful verse? The Lord spoke this into my heart today, like a gentle whisper when much would try and push in. Though I may not see the path before me, it truly does not matter, because I am not required to know the path, only He who guides my steps. He has promised not to leave anything undone, because He is a God who specializes in completing in His children all He has begun as long as we are following where He leads. Whew! I don't know about you, but this brings comfort unlike any other.

I don't know what the "much" in your life is this night, but I know as sure as I have it in my own, you have it in yours as well. You and I, we are not living as big as our God is. We are content to remain in this place, where the darkness would crowd in. However, I do not want to remain here!! I want to stand up, to move, to live in such a way that there is no explanation for all that's happening in my life, but that He is moving in a mighty way. You and I need to live with a big confidence in the God who loves us so much that He died for us. Lets you and I, resolve to live, to be willing to put ourselves in situations where we are required to give everything in us for the glory of His name! Lets be bold in the words we speak to those around us, showcasing the great and mighty love of this God who has stolen our hearts! Lets laugh bigger, cry harder, love greater, and be all that He is to all He would save.

The night around me is beautiful. The warmth of this moment is comforting and I am ready to have it all changed. For this wonderful, terrible, gorgeous, overflowing, hard thing called life we're doing, it's something completely transformed in light of who we are living it with.

Praying that you press into His Word, have deep conversations with Him, and are transformed by the light of His face tonight, more than you ever have been before.


© Jade Valcarcel 2013. All rights reserved