of music and what is on my heart.

Loving Rend Collective Experiment right now. Loving them. I'm the kind of writer that generally writes to music and usually, it will end up being one song on repeat over and over and over. Each and every post I've written on this blog (with exception of the last one) was written to one song piping through my headphones. Because of this, there are times when I try to write without any music, because as much as it inspires me, never do I want it to become a crutch to the writing itself. I should be able to write no matter what, music or not. However, the last few days, I've been putting it off....you see, I made a commitment to myself to post something every day this year on this blog, even if it's just a picture. I believe for now, this is the ministry the Lord has given me and I know He can use tons of things other than my writing to inspire you in your life....even if it is just a picture. But now that I'm telling you, I'm being held a bit more responsible. That's why when you comment, or when I just see that people are actually reading this, it's an encouragement to keep going, keep taking the words He's given and putting them down into thoughts that inspire you into a deeper relationship with Him, that remind you there is incredible beauty in the most simple of moments, and that reminds you to not just live, but to be alive. 

Life is never predictable. From where I was this time last year to where I am now, in my relationship with Him and in my literal every day life, I never would have been able to predict all that's happened. I certainly wasn't thinking at that point that the Lord would have answered so many prayers that were the cries of my heart in such a beautiful way. Then, there are new prayers, new cries, that developed within this last year as well...particularly the last six months, but what I'm learning with such pain and beauty, is that though I may have something in my life that I desire with all that's in me, He still knows me far better than I know myself, and if for now, His answer is no, He will be far bigger than anything I feel as well. He will teach me that my feelings do not rule me and if I think they are, to immediately take them to His feet and leave them there. And oh. wow. this is not easy. Especially when something is in front of me that I think I can't live without or that I can't imagine there being anything more wonderful than. Yet, if I'm His, despite how terribly hard it is to surrender, He faithfully fills me with His joy and assurance that if I surrender to Him, He will give me far more than I could ever imagine to the glory of His name. 

No, it probably won't look like what I had in mind, there will more than likely be some desires I have in  this moment that will have to shift and others that I've yet to discover that need to grow, stretch, and be known. It's like that you know. Desires we have, desires we don't, constantly changing, moving, growing, increasing where they need to and decreasing when necessary. Then, there have been times where what I thought was a desire for a particular something, was actually just the beginning of a desire that would grow beyond all I could see to encompass something so much bigger. Looking back, if I'm trusting and have walked my path with Him, it's beautiful to see where I've come from and trust that as long as I'm grasping His hand, gazing into His eyes, I don't need to know the path ahead. Just trust. 

And because there is a desire on my heart in this moment that He has asked me to trust Him with, these are the things on my heart. Wonderful, frightening, incredible place to be. Whew! Whatever that desire is on your heart this morning, know that He will be faithful to you as long as you seek Him. Because, He's crazy about you! His desire is to give you the best. Don't settle for less than what your God would give you, and I can say with perfect confidence, it will exceed anything you could ever dream up for yourself. Maybe it's a relationship, marriage, children, a job, a ministry, or a number of other things. Whatever it is, trust that He knows. He knows your heart, because He thought you up and created the heart that beats in your chest. He loves you far more than you'll ever be able to comprehend, so in this knowledge, with as hard as it is (and trust me, I completely understand how hard it is) surrender and trust Him. Take all you want and lay it at His feet. Then, watch your God pick each desire up and mold it into something beyond imagining. 

"You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand their are pleasures forever."   -Psalm 16:11

P.S. If any of you are interested in knowing what song I write each post to, leave me a comment and I'll post the link to each above each new post:-)